So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
