I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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