she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize