And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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