3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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