I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
