I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
