i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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