Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
