Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
