she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
