when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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