I puked a lego.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
soo... how was my night?
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