So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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