I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
