If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
