You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
