I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
