i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
