my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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