Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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