So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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