drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize