I'm going to jail i love you
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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