He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
