Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
