Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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