At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
