How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize