doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
