Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
