i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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