Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
