my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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