New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
