Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
