We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize