hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
