why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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