i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize