I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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