i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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