Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
