he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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