Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
