some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
