Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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