I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
