yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
