Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize