Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
