weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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