I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize