im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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