Quick, to the slutcave!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm sobbing to NWA
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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