haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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