how can u be prego again
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize