You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He passed out mid-signature
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
