Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize