Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
