I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
