just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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