I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
