I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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