The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
