i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm always down for nudity.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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