Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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