I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
