we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
