She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
