I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
