The beer is more important than you right now.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
