i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
