idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
