I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
